This person seems to forgo all the normal high street rules over the Christmas period, instead opting to pretend like they're trying to make a deal in a Moroccan souk rather than in Marks and Spencers. He will try and haggle the price down of all his gifts and will throw in Alfie the pet Cockerpoo, a free hair cut at his mate's barber shop and an unopened box of After Eights for the right price.
The Reluctant Shopper
Usually found subconsciously huddled with other reluctant shoppers in the seating areas of clothes shops, or looking solemnly into their lattes in Starbucks whilst they bide their time before getting dragged to another hellhole. This shopper is scolded by their 'better' half for never making suggestions on gifts for the family but gets ignored when they do offer their ideas- maybe suggesting an Xbox 360 for Great Aunt Moira was not the smartest idea...
The Psycho
This person is usually extremely pleasant and jovial but once those Christmas lights turn on and Mariah starts singing about all that she wants for Christmas, this shopper, much like a Werewolf under a full moon, turns into a monster. Like something from The Hunger Games, this shopper will stop at nothing to find that completely 'sold out' one-of-a-kind piece of jewellery and can often be found consuming mass quantities of Pro Plus in the department store toilets to keep alert for any hint of a bargain (this shopper is usually the other half of the poor soul mentioned above).
The Brat
With pretty ribonned pigtails and some cute, novelty reindeer antlers, this little munchkin looks like butter wouldn't melt but DO NOT be fooled my friend. Upon reaching the toy shop to find that the exact Frozen Elsa princess dress has sold out, this young lady will go into a full 'Veruca Salt' meltdown in the middle of the shops with zero fucks given to the little baby that she's set off crying along with all the 'Tickle Me Elmos' on the shelf next to her tantrum.
The Cheapskate
This shopper likes to think of themselves as organised when it comes to Christmas presents having bought them earlier in the year...and by early I mean the January sales of the year before. They'll use recycled wrapping paper which they've gathered over the years and you're present will be down right bizarre having seemed like an absolute bargain at the time of purchase- yes, you did want that Daniel O' Donnell cassette you ungrateful swine.
The Enthusiast
It's hard not to share this shopper's Christmas joy...for about the first week but then their jolliness and downright excessive love for all things festive can get a little tiresome. Their front room looks like an explosion at the glitter factory and, although they completed their Christmas shopping in September, they can't resist weekend trips to the shops to soak up all the Yuletide joy- they've even learnt how to play The Snowman on the tin whistle this year for extra festive fun.
The Multi-tasking Mother
Like an air traffic controller, this superwoman has a strict plan of military precision to ensure that all bases are covered for Christmas this year. Dad will take the sprogs to see Father Christmas directly after lunch, giving mum approximately 16.2 minutes to go to the toy shop, pick up the Star Wars lego set, run to the car and be back in time without breaking a sweat. She'll have organised the school Christmas carol concert, made Pinterest worthy homemade wrapping paper and will have a constant supply of freshly cooked mince pies for any visitors to the house...she may be slightly drunk throughout the entirety of the Christmas period however #justsayin'
Hello and welcome to This Ruth Is On Fire, a UK blog which is a haven for random thoughts and sarcastic observations.
I'm also into books, clothes and visiting places too.
