The mistakes that I've made and the restrictions I've put in place in the past, I guess in a form of protection, have served me well so far but I've been thinking more and more recently about how necessary it is to constantly push the boundaries of what makes me comfortable in order to grow and progress as a person.
I realise that so far this sounds like one of those god awful, corny Pinterest quotes about 'life beginning at the edge of your comfort zone' but it's so true! It really is!
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| Look at me being all inspirational on a paddle board... |
My reaction to feeling uncomfortable or threatened is to get agitated, snappy and stubborn. Others may cry, or go quiet or get shaky hands and there's no denying that it's not a nice feeling, but what if we could train ourselves to embrace these feelings? Try to mediate them and learn from them? It would mean that we would be much more prepared for future endeavours when they came along.
Here are a couple of examples that I can provide about times when I feel uncomfortable...
-Social Situations: In large groups of people I can be the shrinkiest of all violets, the most camouflaged of wallflowers, the most painful of introverts and in the past I have taken to using alcohol as a social lubricant to ease this uncomfortableness. For a while this served me well but since September of this year I have given up the booze and that safety blanket has gone. I now have to teach myself to start conversations and approach people without it and its bloody scary (I still haven't broken the habit of relying on Sam to be the instigator in conversations with strangers but I am working on it).
-Flying: I've written on numerous occasions about my fear of flying. I don't understand it. I freak out at turbulence and in the past have indulged in a few "nightcaps" to numb the fear (something again that is a thing of the past, see above). Staying in my comfort zone and avoiding getting on a flight again would just be ridiculous, it would make life incredibly difficult for Sam and I to explore this wonderful planet and therefore I have to continually push the boundaries of my comfort zone every time I set foot on a plane for the greater good.
-Writing: I've been writing on this blog for 11 months now and I've picked up a few sideline projects throughout this year too. I adore writing, about anything and everything, but something about publishing your work is terrifying- you're completely opening yourself up for criticism from others. But what is the other option? I never write anything that the public will see? Uh-huh gurrrrrlll that is not an option. Having a few harsh words said about your writing is definitely worth the risk in my eyes.
...and here are some of my tips to deal with such situations:
-Take a 5 minute breather: As mentioned above, I can often lash out when feeling uncomfortable resulting in me often saying something hurtful that I don't mean or missing vital details and not getting the full picture before taking action. 5 minutes to gather my thoughts is hugely beneficial.
-Accept failure: Of course I will fail, many times I am sure, and accepting it as an inevitability will most definitely ease the blow. If you try for something and then fail, you're in no worse a position than if you hadn't tried it all (in fact you've probably learnt something and will hopefully avoid making the same mistake again in the future).
-Trust your gut: Thinking rationally is overrated, go with your heart over your head sometimes. Your instincts are nearly always correct so don't suppress them with logic.
-Have an end goal in mind: Remind yourself why you are going through a stressful situation. It doesn't have to be a major goal, even everyday situations can be nerve-racking, but never lose sight of the end product.
Hello and welcome to This Ruth Is On Fire, a UK blog which is a haven for random thoughts and sarcastic observations.
I'm also into books, clothes and visiting places too.
